


Rendezvous

by TWDObsessive



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Angst, Angst and Humor, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Realization
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-05
Updated: 2016-09-16
Packaged: 2018-08-13 06:01:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 19,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7965295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TWDObsessive/pseuds/TWDObsessive
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the prison falls, Daryl escapes with Carl and Judith in tow.  Merle (who still lives in this AU) escapes with Rick.  Will the Dixon boys be able to reunite the Grimes family?  Will Rick and Daryl learn anything about their feelings on the journey back to one another?  (Spoiler Alert: they will)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Two Roads Diverged in a Wood

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Stylepoints for beta’ing! Half of all kudos belong to her!! :-)
> 
> Note: In this AU Merle wasn’t killed by the Governor because I thought that was just too damn soon! Everything that happened in canon happened here except when Merle attempted to assassinate the governor after letting Michonne go, he didn’t die. He didn’t succeed in killing the Governor either, just returned to the prison because I wanted him to be there when the prison fell.

It all went to shit so damn fast. In the blink of an eye the sky above the prison went from cloudless blue to thick grey billows of smoke, dust from crumbling concrete walls and flames tinting everything an ominous orange. Daryl sat in the back seat of the bus, Judith on his hip and his crossbow over his shoulder. Carl was in the seat across from him. They both watched as the prison disappeared behind them. He should have stayed. That was his plan- to put the kids on the bus and then go back for Rick. For Merle. But it all happened so damn fast. He was trying to convince Carl to stay and to take his sister so that Daryl could go after the two men that meant the world to him, but the bus started moving before he could get off. 

“You aren’t making it up?” Carl asked. His face was tear-streaked and his eyes were fierce. 

“Naw, man. What the fuck am I gonna make it up for? I saw them. Merle had him and they were climbing into one of the trucks. They’ll get out. Merle’s got him. We’ll find each other. Merle and I always do. Everyone knows the plan. The rendezvous.”

It wasn't a lie. Daryl was always keeping an eye out for Rick’s safety. And since Merle had returned he'd been keeping an eye on him as well. Of course he was more worried over Merle pissing people off than getting hurt, but regardless, a quick glance at the landscape as the bus started moving was enough for him to pick out the familiar shapes of both men on the horizon. Rick seemed a little worse for wear as Merle had helped him into the passenger side, but that wasn’t a detail that needed to be shared with Carl. 

When the bus started moving Daryl had thought about jumping out the emergency door. Thought about screaming for the driver to stop, but Rick's children were his responsibility now, and Daryl wasn't sure he could face Rick without them. He couldn't just leave them with anyone. Hell, Carl was tougher than half the pansies they had at the prison anymore. Daryl had to be the one to protect them. It had to be him.

Judith hiccuped in Daryl’s arms and the archer bounced her. He looked in her eyes and she watched him and reached for his nose with another hiccup. “‘S ok, lil girl. We ain’t gonna rest til we find your Daddy, I promise you that.” He held her up over his shoulder and patted her back.

Daryl looked towards the front of the bus, scanning the backs of heads. None of them were overly familiar. He stood and handed Judith to her brother. “Gonna go check on everyone, ok.?”

“Don’t leave,” Carl said, his eyes pleading and it nearly stopped Daryl in his tracks. He had Rick’s eyes. And Daryl had the same loyalty to these kids as he did to the elder Grimes. He would kill or die for them. And he _would_ get them back to their Daddy. 

“Hey, you are my priority, you and your sister. We’re a team and I ain’t going nowhere. Just gonna check on everyone else. I’ll be right back.”

Carl took the baby and nodded at Daryl. He had grown up so fucking fast. The expressions he wore now- it wasn’t right for a kid that age to know the feelings that showed through them. Horror, fear, anger, despair. When Daryl first met him, he looked so innocent. Young. But now, he was world worn and weary from living this new life. His shoulders slumped with weight just like his father’s. He was a man in a child’s body and it broke Daryl to see the hardness in his young eyes. He knew how to kill walkers now. He’d killed a threat already. He watched his mother die before his eyes and put her down afterwards. He took care of his newborn sister when his father was falling apart. These are things for men, not children. And Carl had passed through the gauntlet of growing up a thousand fold. Daryl knew Rick was proud of him. Daryl was too. 

“I know I can count on having you by my side, Carl,” Daryl said and the boy sat up straighter at the compliment. 

Daryl walked up the aisles checking seats and nodding hellos. He couldn’t find anyone else from the council or from his original family. It was a bus filled with stragglers and ex-Woodbury residents. Even the driver was a woman whose name escaped Daryl. He leaned down to her and looked at the road ahead. “You remember where to go?”

“Yeah,” she answered, keeping her eyes and her focus on the asphalt before her. 

Daryl looked back at the full bus. He was the only one on board who could hunt. The only one with any survival skills. But it shouldn’t take long once they hit the rendezvous point before others would arrive. Rick knows. Merle knows. Everyone knows what to do in the event of a catastrophe. Rendezvous. That was step number one in the event of a separation.

He thought back to the firefight- he and Merle at the back fence, guns aimed and waiting. Carl between them with his own weapon. He was itching to shoot and Daryl had stopped him. Was that a mistake? Should they have taken the shot? It all happened so goddamned fast. 

Rick would be a mess. This Daryl knew. He’d just gotten his head back on straight since Lori passed. He’d been doing good, getting stronger, smiling again. And now this. This would destroy him. The only thing that could keep Rick sane after the fall of the prison would be finding his kids alive and safe and Daryl would give him that. It had been his mission to follow Rick’s lead since the man went back into Atlanta to try to get Merle. Rick hadn’t known Daryl from a tin can of tuna, but when he saw Daryl’s heartache at losing Merle, he didn’t hesitate to go back into the city for his brother, despite the fact that he had _just_ found his _own_ family. 

And since then, Rick was always just there. Always in Daryl’s periphery. Always on his mind. He knew at any given moment from the quarry to the farm to the prison and everywhere in between where Rick was. Daryl never questioned his loyalty to this man. They just grew close quickly, naturally, effortlessly. They worked together well. They respected one another and Daryl had never had that feeling before, someone respecting him. Someone who wanted to know what he thought. Someone who needed him. Rick never pretended that he didn’t need Daryl. No one ever needed Daryl before. 

Rick sought the archer out most days just to talk. And Daryl had found himself doing the same, noticing when he hadn’t seen the man in a while and walking the prison grounds aimlessly not even realizing what he was looking for until he saw Rick. He wasn’t worried though. Not about Rick or Merle. They were survivors. They were strong. They knew the plan. Rendezvous.

Daryl was pulled out of his thoughts by a scream from halfway back in the bus. He got to his feet, his bow raised and aimed before he even realized his body was moving. Everyone started screaming and moving to the front of the bus in a herd.

“He’s turned!” someone shouted and Daryl braced himself to keep the crowd from overwhelming the driver. 

“Pull over,” he shouted over his shoulder.

The woman behind the wheel had been looking in the rearview at the panicked passengers. She glanced back ahead of her as they went into a turn. “Shit!” she screamed and she stopped the bus hard and fast. Daryl had just turned around to see a horde of walkers covering the road in front of the bus before he felt it lift up on two wheels and start to fall over.


	2. Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brought to you with the Stylepoints seal of approval! Thanks as always for the beta, chickie!

“Noooooo!!!”

Rick heard the echo of his cry in his own head as he fired. Sound erupted around him. It had been eerily silent as he was pleading his case with the Governor. But after the swing of that katana, it was war. Guns from behind him and in front joined his Colt in a chorus of shots that sprinkled the prison yard like the flurry of pop-bangs from a fireworks finale. He saw the Governor take a bullet in the arm and felt the air whiz by him from bullets that kissed against his thigh. He went down when he felt the burn of one as it grazed his leg. 

In the tall grass he listened. Maggie screaming. Beth in tears. Orders being shouted from the tank. The sound of it moving, grinding, of fence popping apart in it’s wake. Gunshots rang in his ears as he tried to wrap his mind around what was happening. His home, his family… everything he had was under attack. Everything he had was being taken from him. He could smell the building behind him burning from the first shot the tank fired into the prison tower. He got up and stood low, ducking through brush, laser focused on ending the Governor. He was taking everything they had made. They spilled blood here. Fought and worked and lived. This was their home. Their safety. He would not rest until this man was gone from the world. 

Rick watched as the Governor chopped at the rest of Hershel’s head, a sick glee in his lone eye. When he dropped the katana to stand, Rick plowed into him with a low shoulder and they both rolled to the ground. Rick swung fists one after another feeling the flesh of cheek and chin against his knuckles. He was in a rage. Suddenly the noise and chaos around him disappeared and it was only the two of them. The sound of punches and grunts cocooned them from everything else. The Governor flipped them suddenly and they fought and gasped to get the upper hand on one another. And then it was all blue sky and time stopped. Rick was on his back looking up at peaceful clouds, then the other man’s face came into focus and Rick realized he was overpowered. The Governor took swing after swing and the pain of each hit was like an ember sparking into flame. The noise around him became nothing more than a high-pitched buzz over far away shouts and cries.

Then he felt hands on his neck and he struggled to breath, struggled to push the Governor off. Struggled. Gasped. His thoughts raced. Memories fleeting past like leaves in the wind. The edges of his sight went dark. He saw Carl, in his too-big hat with a determined look on his face. He saw Judith, Daryl feeding her and smiling. He felt Judy’s fingers wrap around his, felt Carl wrap arms around him for a hug, felt the warmth of Daryl’s shoulder and thigh against his own as they sat on watch together. He heard them. Fleeting. A whisper. Judith’s giggle, Carl saying “Dad” and Daryl saying “Rick.” Heard Hershel telling him “You’re a good man, Rick.” Heard Glenn’s voice. “Maggie. She’s pregnant.” Lori saying “Carl needs you.” 

He was dying, the last breath being strangled out of him by a monster worse than walkers. A man that turned without turning. Evil in it’s purest form. The edges of his sight grew dim and the big blue sky above got smaller and smaller until the only thing that filled his vision was the Governor’s sole eye and Rick’s reflection in it. Then it exploded, a knife protruding through the eye socket and blood dripping into Rick’s gasping mouth. And the Governor's face was replaced with Merle’s. And then it all went black.

Rick regained consciousness briefly in the front seat of a bumpy pick-up, Merle driving. 

“Carl,” Rick choked out. 

“On his way to the rendezvous. Daryl’s got both your kids,” Merle answered. No snide comments. No sarcasm. It was barely Merle at all. 

“Wha- Wh-” Rick stammered, struggling to get his sore throat to make words.

“You need to rest, Friendly. I got this.”

Rick was slouched against the door and he looked out the window. Funny how the most awful days could happen under bright sun and serene blue skies. His eyes fluttered shut and his mind was filled with a memory that played as clear as HD TV in the old world. And he drifted into the memory and hid there to escape all the burns and bruises and cuts on his worn, exhausted body.

_”Thank you for taking care of her when I couldn’t,” Rick said. They were in the tower together, he and Daryl. They usually were always in the tower together. Rick couldn’t remember if this particular time was his watch or Daryl’s but one usually always joined the other on late evening shifts._

_Daryl didn’t reply. He just shrugged and bit at a nail, keeping his eyes on the horizon as the sun sunk low in the sky._

_“Daryl. I wish you understood how much you mean to me, man. I couldn’t… I couldn’t do any of this without you.”_

_“Yeah you could, Rick,” Daryl insisted. “Everyone stumbles a bit here and there. You got back up. You got the garden going. Getting Carl straight-”_

_“You don’t agree with me on Carl,” Rick interrupted._

_Daryl nodded. “He’s your son, Rick. I support whatever you want to do.”_

_“He killed an unarmed kid.”_

_“There’s worse than walkers out there and it’s probably not a bad thing for him to learn not to hesitate if there’s any chance of a threat. This is survival now.”_

_“I don’t want to raise him to be a killer.” Rick answered, voice thick with sadness._

_“We’re all killers now, Rick. It’s a different world. But it’s ok, man. We’re safe. For now. Got the walls. Got people. Got your tomatoes and green beans out there,” Daryl grinned and nudged Rick’s shoulder. “It’s ok that you want to give him some down time.”_

_“Long term though… you think he needs to learn to fight.” It wasn’t a question. Rick knew the answer._

_“Yes. We all do. Haven’t found the Governor yet. He could still be out there.”_

_“It’s been so long-”_

_“Can’t take anything for granted anymore,” Daryl interrupted._

_They were quiet as the sky transitioned into pale purples and neon pinks._

_“It’s just sad that he and Judith… they’ll never know the other life.” Rick’s voice shook with the start of tears, his head bowed, hands on his knees as they sat side by side. Daryl reached out and stroked Rick’s hand with a pinky finger._

_“It’s just a different life, Rick. We’ll all get used to it. We all have each other.”_

_Rick grabbed Daryl’s hand and held it, he rested his head on Daryl’s knee and let himself cry as Daryl petted his mop of overgrown curls with his other hand. It was the only time they’d gotten so physical in their comfort. But it was flawless and needed and Rick felt better with Daryl so close._

_“It’s ok, Rick. If we don’t break down once in a while then that means we’ve lost our humanity. It’s ok to hurt.”  
_

The memory faded to black. Rick missed that feeling of comfort. He needed it. He needed Daryl as much as he needed his kids. He tried to search back for another memory to focus on, but his thoughts became a void of nothing as he fell into a heavy, deep sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys hate me don't you? Cause you wanted to know what was going to happen on the bus and I went to the other story line... Just like the actual damn show during the post-prison scatter episodes! I'm truly sorry for that. At least it's posting daily. :-)


	3. Shake Dreams From Your Hair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta'd, as always, by the lovely Stylepoints.

It was like slow motion when the bus finally toppled over onto it’s side. The wait for the final crash to the pavement was like waking from a confusing dream. It felt like forever and nothing all at once. Daryl could almost hear a slow tick like the second hand of a clock over the screams of the passengers and the squeals from the tires. It was like floating for a moment and then gravity grabbing you like a fist and slamming you into the ground. The sounds of glass shattering and the groaning of metal filled the air. The voices had all gone silent, then everything went silent. Just for a second. One tick of the little hand. Daryl blinked and shook his head, the sound of glass shaking out of his hair. Then sound slowly started to come back.

A baby crying. Judith. Then movement in the bus where a pile of bodies blocked him from being able to see the back seats where he left the kids. He heard voices. “Are you ok?” and “Help me, I’m stuck”. He looked out the front window of the bus, the walkers were already on them, clawing at the cracked glass. He couldn’t tell how many from this angle. He resituated himself trying to get footing so that he could stand. 

“Anyone alive needs to climb up. Out the side windows above you. Now!” He heard Judith crying over everything else and he was finally able to scrambled to his feet. He pulled the bar that opened the side door, which was now directly above him and he used the handrail to step up and give himself leverage to climb up through the now opened door. 

“Up. Go up!” he shouted again and he looked around to see if there was anyone he could pull through the door, but all the bodies he saw close by were still. Then one of them opened empty cloudy eyes and slowly reached for Daryl’s leg.

He pulled himself up fast and was on the top side of the bus in no time. He ran to the back of the vehicle. He didn’t know who was where or how he could help. The only thing he knew as fact was that Carl and Judith were in the back and Judith was alive. Walkers were making their way around to the rear, following after her cries. He scanned the road around them. Twenty? Maybe thirty of them? Screams from inside the bus started ringing out as the dead started turning. 

Daryl fell to his knees once he got to the back and looked down through the open window. Carl. Judith. They were alive. Carl was looking out the back door at the walkers, bouncing Judith on his hip.

“Up!” Daryl yelled and Carl’s head followed his voice. 

He stood and held Judith up. “Take her!”

Daryl laid down on his stomach and reached down with both hands. He’d never been so happy to be holding a crying baby in his life. He pulled her up and hugged her quickly. “It’s ok, lil girl. Quiet down.” 

With one arm still holding her, he reached back in with the other but Carl was digging under seats. 

“Carl!” Daryl whisper-yelled.

He looked up. “We need the supplies. The bags were back here!” he replied tugging at a black strap. 

“Not now, Carl. We can get more supplies. They’re turning in the front of the bus. Grab my hand. Get up here.”

“We can’t protect her without guns. We can’t-” the bag that the strap was attached to finally pulled out from under the seat and Carl fell backwards, his hat tumbling off his head. He scooped up the heavy bag and shoved it up to Daryl. The archer grabbed it, cursing under his breath. Fucking kid was just as stubborn as his old man. He put the bag on the top of the bus and reached back in. 

“Hurry!”

Carl took his hand and kicked at a newly-turned walker that Daryl recognized from Woodbury. She was clawing at Carl’s pant leg. He was heavy as shit, not a damn kid anymore. Thirteen? Fourteen maybe now? Daryl braced himself and used all his strength to pull the boy up through the window. 

“That was stupid,” Daryl yelled. “Goddamnit.”

Carl looked Daryl in the eye, firm, unflinching. “We need the weapons. You know that.”

Daryl looked away. The kid was right and Daryl would have done the same damn thing but this was a KID. He shouldn’t be in a damn world where that’s the kind of choices you have to make. He should be deciding if he wants to play Mario Brothers or Sonic the Hedgehog. Daryl brushed some glass out of the kid’s hair. “Was brave,” he relented. And Carl nodded at him, the same way Rick would have and that little glimpse of Rick made Daryl’s stomach feel empty. 

Judith had finally stopped crying and was just sniffling and chewing on the strap of Daryl’s bow. He stood, Carl standing up after him and both looked around as they turned in a slow, deliberate circle. Nothing but a few overturned vehicles and walkers clawing at all sides of the bus. The screams from inside had stopped. It was now just all the moans from the dead, inside the bus and out. They were surrounded. There was no open spot anywhere and even if there was, it would take long minutes they didn't have to climb safely down with the baby. Daryl handed her to Carl and the boy took her without complaint. The bag had been heavy and Daryl remembered packing it in the bus for this very purpose. Emergency only. And this was an emergency. 

He sorted through guns and ammo and settled on a pistol. “What are we gonna do?” Carl asked, a bit of child coming through his voice. A hint of fear and uncertainty. 

“Cause a distraction,” Daryl answered. He checked the pistol to make sure it was loaded. He pulled another gun out and handed it to Carl. “Tuck it in your pants,” he said and Carl obeyed. 

Daryl looked back at the options. The Honda Civic was the furthest away but there wasn’t a clear shot to the gas tank. There was a Jeep Wrangler on it’s side, closer. But if they climbed off the back of the bus, they’d have a good head start into the woods. He looked back at Carl.

“Gonna shoot the gas tank. When they move towards the explosion, I’m going to jump down. You hand me Judith then throw the bag over and climb down to me. I’ll take her. You take the bag,” Daryl pointed, “and we go that way. Fast. No stopping. Okay?”

Carl nodded. “Yeah. I can do that.” 

Daryl patted him on the shoulder. “We’re gonna be fine,” he said.

“I know.”

Daryl turned back to line up his shot. Thank God Rick had been giving him lessons in the yard. He was much better with the knife and the bow than with a pistol. 

“Daryl?” 

He turned down to Carl and tried not to act annoyed at the disruption. “What?”

“Ummm… I’m a better shot than you. Maybe I should do it.”

“You ain’t a better shot. You’re a kid. I’m-”

“I’m not a kid anymore, Daryl. You know that. Not in this world. Once you shoot, more will come. We can’t take four or five tries. The less noise we make the better chance of getting out of here.” 

Daryl hated how old the boy sounded. No wonder Rick had been so nostalgic over him recently. Daryl bit his lip and looked around them again. The kid was right. He was a better shot with a pistol. He took Judith back and handed Carl the gun. “As soon as it blows and they move from the back of the bus, you crawl down. I’ll hand her to you.”

Carl nodded and took a careful step forward on the creaking bus. He set his stance. 

“The Jeep. See the gas tank there?” Daryl whispered.

Carl turned around and looked up at him. “I got this, Daryl. Just be ready.”

He got it on the first shot and the Jeep exploded with more noise than either expected and they both lost their footing. Judith started to cry and Daryl shushed her and bounced her as Carl scrambled to the back and looked over. “They’re going for it!” he whispered and climbed down the back to the road below them. Daryl handed Judy down, grabbed the bag and tossed it down. He took a last birdseye view and saw they had a nice opening. All of the walkers were moving towards the flames.

He jumped down and felt his pants rip at the knee against some jagged glass. When he landed, he grabbed reflexively at his injury and came up with bloody fingers. He had no idea where they were but if Rick and Merle found the bus like this they’d be sick with worry. He used his bloody fingers and wrote on the back window of the bus- 

_DD CG JG- Alive_

Then he handed the bag to Carl, took Judith and pointed towards a path in the woods across the street. “Run.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gee- I wonder what Merle and Rick are up to?


	4. Rage Against the Dying of the Light

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Stylepoints for the beta!!

Rick was startled awake by his own voice in a dream screaming “Nooo!”

His eyelashes fought and won against crust from sleep to flutter open and he turned to the sound of lips smacking together followed by a low belch. Merle finally came into focus before him, sitting on a coffee table eating from a 112 ounce can of chocolate pudding and staring at him. 

“You a lazy fucker, Grimes. Been sleepin’ ‘bout ten hours now,” he grumbled as he shoveled in another spoonful.

“What...where-”

“Let me save you some dialogue. It's just you and me. Everyone else done scattered. Probably waiting for us now at the rendezvous. You need more beauty sleep or can we get moving?”

Rick tried to sit up and felt the pain of bruises all along his side. He gripped at his stomach as nausea overwhelmed him. “Carl?” he asked with a raspy croak. Rick vaguely remembered asking this before as they drove away from the prison but he couldn’t remember the answer. He barely remembered the fight and he searched his memory and landed on the Governor chopping at Hershel’s head and he pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers, his heart shattered.

“Daryl was takin’ both your kids to the bus when shit really went south. Probably together and waitin’ on your lazy ass to show.”

Rick remembered Merle telling him that now and had to give the man credit for patiently answering it again. Rick licked at his dry lips. His throat hurt like he was swallowing a thousand shards of glass. He ran the tips of his fingers along his neck.

Merle pointed at him with the spoon, a drop of pudding flinging off it and landing on Rick’s shirt. “He choked the living hell out of ya. You’re welcome, by the way. Saved your ass instead of cuffin’ ya to the tank and leavin’ ya for walker bait.”

Rick groaned again as he tried to sit up straighter rolling his eyes at the hundredth reminder of how Rick had left Merle on that Atlanta rooftop so long ago. “Merle that was probably a year or two ago at this point. Can’t we-”. He had to stop talking because the rawness in his throat made him cough.

“Eh. Whatever. Couldn’t leave ya. Wouldn’t do that to my brother. But you been a pain in the damn ass since I hauled you into the truck. Unconscious the whole drive. Couldn’t help with directions. Layin’ like a sack a potatoes all night ‘stead of takin’ a shift on watch.”

“Where are we?” Rick asked as he tried to stand. 

Merle watched his careful movements as he took another spoonful of pudding. “Some damn where. Not at the rendezvous.”

“Why’d we stop?” Rick asked as he decided his legs were too shaky and his sides hurt too much to straighten his torso. He sat back down in defeat, gritting his teeth at a dozen different throbbing bruises all over his body.

“Got dark and ran out of gas.”

Rick looked at the window. “Light now. Let’s go find another vehicle. Gotta find my kids. Daryl. Everyone.”

Merle just looked at him and blinked. “Okay, man. Go ahead and get out there. I’ll be right behind ya.”

Rick tried to stand again and finally just laid down on the couch. 

“That’s what I thought.” Merle put the pudding down and threw a bottle of water at Rick, hitting him in his already sore side. “Advil,” he said as he tossed that over too. “Take some and drink the water. Everyone knows it might take time to get to the rendezvous. If the bus got there already, they’ll be checking it each day or staying parked right nearby giving the rest of us time.”

Rick wanted to fight him. Wanted to stand up and march out the door and not stop until Carl was by his side and Judith was in his arms, Daryl beside them. But one more attempt to sit back up proved fruitless and he opened the Advil in defeat. “In the morning then. We head out first thing.”

“You ain’t head honcho in this here team, Grimes. I am. I’m calling the shots cause I’m probably gonna have to drag your ass out to the car myself and take care a’ killin’ any walkers on the way. When you can walk your own ass out to a car and get in it unassisted, we’ll leave. Ain’t gonna get stuck somewhere with ya if ya can’t help me fight. Get some damn rest now, will ya? I’m gonna scrounge the next few houses to look for food.” And then he was gone. 

Rick took four Advil and drank half the bottle of water. He tried to pay attention to all the aches and pains, to parse them out and feel if there was anything anywhere that should be a real worry. It was mostly just all a dull ache from head to toe, like what a well-used punching bag must feel like. Merle was right though. Everyone knew where to go and what to do. They’d get there. He just needed another few hours of rest and he’d be good as new. 

He thought back to the prison yard, to Hershel on his knees and the Governor beheading him. Rick hadn’t acted soon enough. He made the wrong choice. Again. Always wrong choices that led them from one problem to another. Maggie and Beth must be devastated… if they even made it out alive. Rick was devastated. The prison was their _home_. They spilled blood for it. They slaved over it. They _made_ it. It was theirs and now it’s all gone. And Hershel was gone. And Daryl… Was he really with Rick’s kids? Would Merle lie about that? Would he know that was the most comforting thing Rick could have heard?

Rick laughed at himself alone in the fading light of someone else’s living room. Merle wouldn’t care about comforting him. 

_Couldn’t leave ya. Wouldn’t do that to my brother._

Rick replayed Merle’s words a few times. What the hell did that even mean? They were close, he and Daryl. Maybe Merle could just tell they’d become like… well, like brothers. Best friends. They’d fallen into a partnership so easily. Even when Shane was still alive, he and Daryl moved more like one then he ever did with Shane. They could read each other. They respected each other. They just genuinely liked one another and Rick was suddenly sad and lonely. He had to get to his kids and to Daryl. He needed them. All three of them. He felt naked and empty without his family nearby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry these chaps are so short! This was just a small chaptered thing. Hope it's not too annoying! Lol!


	5. Miles To Go Before We Sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to Stylepoints for the beta! She totally rocks!

The rendezvous was at the old church, the one they found when they were out looking for Sophia what felt like years ago. Daryl had gotten disoriented after the bus. He had no idea where they were. They ran through the woods for a good thirty minutes straight before they had to stop to catch their breath. 

Judith had been quiet as a lamb the entire time. Carl reached for her. “She’s heavy. Let me take her for a bit,” he offered. 

Daryl didn’t want to let her go but his arm ached and he knew he wasn’t going to be able to treat Carl like a child. Christ, he’d given Lori hell for doing exactly that. He was tough, strong and fuck… he was a better shot than Daryl. He handed Judy to her brother and knelt down to rifle through the bag. 

He pulled out a knife and a sheath and looked up at Carl. “You got one?” 

Carl shook his head and Daryl handed it to him. It was quiet this far in. Daryl was listening as he rummaged through all the pockets. He didn’t hear the sound of water. They needed to get to the creek for him to get his bearings. That or high ground. As he searched every pocket taking inventory, Carl sat down.

Daryl sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “A canteen of water, four bags of trail mix, four cans of peaches, the knife, four more guns and a bunch of ammo.” He twisted off the cap to the canteen and handed it to Carl. “Just a little bit. Not sure when we’ll find more.”

Carl took a small sip and handed it back. Daryl took a sip and then tilted it forward to Judith who was sitting between Carl’s legs squishing dead leaves in her tiny hands. “Here, lil girl. Careful.” In the old world she’d be far too young to be drinking from something that wasn’t a bottle, but they’d been trying to get her to do things faster in this new world. Had to grow up quick nowadays. Judy kept her eyes on Daryl’s as she carefully drank a few sips and then shook her head when she was done.

“Good girl,” Daryl praised. 

They sat for a while each lost in their own world, Judith falling asleep against Carl’s leg. The church had been about twenty miles from the prison. They maybe got five at best before the crash. Daryl was fairly certain if they could find the creek that ran through these woods he could get them resituated and aimed in the right direction. Rick would be there. He and Merle both. Everyone would. That was the plan. 

“You should have let me take the shot,” Carl said. “Back at the prison.”

Daryl stiffened. He knew it would come up. Hell, he questioned himself already in the short time since they’d left. “Maybe,” he answered.

“Dad won’t take this well. If he’s even alive-”

“He’s alive,” Daryl growled. There was no way he wasn’t. Daryl knew the man so well, he felt certain if he was no longer on this earth he’d _feel_ it. Carl leaned back against a tree, seemingly consoled at Daryl’s conviction. 

“We need to get our bearings before dark,” Daryl said as he stood. Carl nodded and got up as well, picking up his sister. 

Daryl handed him a second gun and tucked one in his own pants. Then put the bag over one shoulder and the bow over the other. “I can take her,” he offered. 

Carl looked up at Daryl with narrowed eyes. “You’re carrying everything else. I got her. I’m not a kid.”

“Yeah,” Daryl relented and he pointed in his best guess of direction. They walked for another few hours and Daryl was focused on every step. He stopped at one point at the sound of a few squirrels chasing each other through branches. He aimed and tried to wait them out but they disappeared. The trail mix and peaches wouldn’t last forever and who knew how long this could take. 

He had his hands full with the Grimes kids but Merle would be having a worse time of it for sure. He didn’t have half the patience Daryl had and Rick had twice the hard-headedness of Carl. They’d be lucky to get twenty miles to rendezvous without killing each other. But Daryl knew they wouldn’t. 

Rick wouldn’t because Merle was Daryl’s brother, that simple reason alone. It was the reason why he was allowed at the prison in the first place. Merle could be hard to love and even harder to like. Daryl knew that. But he was loyal when he had reason to be and he was strong. He wouldn’t go down without one hell of a fight. And Merle wouldn’t kill Rick or leave him for similar reasons mostly revolving around Daryl. The reasons weren’t as clear as his blood bond with Merle. Weren’t as cut and dry. But Merle knew that Rick was important to Daryl and he wouldn’t take that from his brother.

Daryl couldn’t ever seem to make sense of exactly what had grown between he and Rick. There was a kinship they shared, a camaraderie they had with each other that they didn’t have with anyone else. There were so many nights the two of them would sit out on watch together. One on duty, the other just there for the company. Sometimes they’d talk about stupid shit for hours. And sometimes they’d just sit quiet and watch the sun come up over the horizon. Daryl was always comfortable in Rick’s company. He was never much for touching, but when they sat close in the days after the farm fell, shoulders and thighs against one another to help stay warm through the winter, Daryl leaned into it. He wasn’t afraid of it. Wasn’t suspicious. He wanted it. He liked it. He looked forward to finding each other again, to the hug they would share. To Rick’s smile.

He thought back to that uncomfortable conversation with Merle a few weeks back. They were returning to the prison after they had left together. Daryl couldn’t do it. Couldn’t choose Merle’s ignorance and lose Rick’s… whatever it was he had with Rick. He thought back to it as he and Carl trudged through the woods.

_  
“Where're you going?” Merle asked._

_“Back where I belong, Merle! That’s my family.”_

_“So you're picking him over me? Rick? You his bitch now?”_

_“I ain’t nobody’s bitch,” Daryl seethed. He took a few more angry steps then whirled around to Merle. “You know, I may be the one walking away, but you're the one who's leaving... Again,” Daryl said. He narrowed his eyes, accusingly._

_“Oh you’re gonna pout now about shit that happened dozens of years ago? That why you need to go crawling back to Rick? He lets you cry about your sorry childhood?” Merle asked as he followed behind Daryl._

_Daryl didn’t give him the satisfaction of a reply, so Merle continued. “So that’s it? You’re gonna go running back to the guy that left me for dead. Guy that left me up there in Atlanta?”_

_Daryl turned around and stalked back towards Merle, spitting out his words. “Man, I went back for you. You weren't there. I didn't cut off your hand, neither. You did that. Way before they locked you up on that roof. You asked for it. “_

_“I lost my hand because of that cop, man!”_

_“You lost your hand 'cause you're a simple-minded piece of shit!”_

_Merle had his eyes narrowed at Daryl, trying to judge his response. “I see you, man. Following him around like he’s made of gold. Looking to him. Wanting his approval. His praise.”_

_“Fuck you,” Daryl growled. Merle grabbed Daryl’s shirt. Their testosterone was up and they were both itching for a fight. Daryl pulled away to get better footing to throw a punch but his shirt ripped and Merle stood, jaw dropped at the sight of his little brother’s back._

_“I... I didn't know he was... “_

_“He did the same to you. That's why you left first” Daryl put his crossbow back over his back to hide the scars and kept heading for the prison with Merle silent now behind him._

_“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I should have… I should have-”_

_“You didn’t do it,” Daryl responded, relenting on his anger. Wasn’t Merle’s fault or responsibility what happened to Daryl all the times he was gone._

_“I didn’t stop it,” Merle answered, self-loathing clear in his tone. They walked in silence for quite a while before Merle spoke again. “Rick… he treats you good. I know that. I know you’re … happy. I know…” he trailed off and Daryl didn’t push to ask what else it was he knew.  
_

After hours of walking, Daryl and Carl finally stumbled upon an old farmhouse a little before twilight. Daryl was tired and he knew Carl had to be, too. Judith was asleep back in Daryl’s arms as they walked up to the house, Carl’s gun out and aimed. Daryl put a hand on his shoulder. 

“You take her and let me clear it. My weapon is quieter. Don’t want gunshots if we don’t have to.”

Carl sighed but he relented. He took Judy in one arm and kept the gun in the other hand, nodding at Daryl to get on with it. 

Daryl hadn’t cleared a house alone in ages. It was usually he and Rick for something like this. Two bodies but moving like one. They would speak with nods and glances and they read each other like they were fluent in one another’s body language. Daryl moved from room to room. No walkers. No corpses. No signs of struggle. No bags packed in a rush to leave. He used a finger to open a cupboard and saw a jar of honey, peanut butter, saltines, soups. He opened another door- Chips Ahoy, applesauce, a case of bottled water. The home hadn’t been looted. They really had to be fuck-all lost if no other survivors had stumbled into this goldmine.

He opened the front door and nodded Carl in. “Fully loaded kitchen. Even got applesauce for girlie,” he said as he kissed the top of her head and took her back from Carl. 

The boy walked to an open cupboard. “Holy SHIT!” he muttered as he reached in and grabbed the peanut butter. 

Daryl leaned over the kitchen sink to peer out the window at the back yard as he rubbed circles on Judy’s back. “Pecan trees,” he said as the first fat drops of rain started to fall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up--- Back to Merle and Rick!


	6. All That We See or Seem

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Stylepoints for telling me I missed an opportunity to add some great details here. She gets all kudos for this chap!

_The sky was violet, like an unintended color on an artist's pallet, a litany of colors accidentally bleeding and blending together to create something fully unique, a new color completely. The trees were bright neon green, full of life and hope and strength. Rick was alone in a field, the prison ahead of him as he he made his way towards it. He knew he had to reach it quickly. Daryl was there and Rick needed to touch base with him about what happened._

_He seemed to be walking a long time, the length of time it took a willow tree to grow or the slow evolution of caterpillar to butterfly. But no matter how many hours seemed to tick by, the prison got no closer._

_Lori was beside him. He couldn't remember if he knew she was there the whole time or if she snuck up on him. Either way it was bittersweet. He looked at her in her long white dress, not a spot of blood or dirt despite the world they lived in._

_“I know you're not really here,” Rick said._

_“You're not really here either,” she answered plainly._

_“We’ll never make it to the prison at this rate,” Rick said. The more he walked towards it, the further away it got._

_“It's not there anymore, Rick,” she said, her voice sad like delicate petals falling from a dying rose._

_Rick looked ahead and saw it, the gates, the tower. “It's right there,” he insisted._

_“It's not the prison you're looking for, Rick. You know that.”_

_A tumbleweed rolled by them and came to a stop, a crow landing on it and squawking at them._

_“What do you know about what I'm looking for, Lori? You cheated on me. Put me at odds with Shane. You wanted me gone before any of this ever started.”_

_Rick found that his calm voice had taken a turn, it was sharp and accusatory._

_A phone rang and Lori was suddenly gone. Rick looked around the field, only partially aware of how odd it was for a phone to be working and to be in the middle of a hay field on top of it. He found a desk hidden by overgrown brush and picked up a thick black dial phone._

_“H-hello?”_

_“Rick?”_

_It was Daryl's voice. Rick fell to his knees and wept. “Daryl,” he managed to say, “I can't find you. I can't find anyone.”_

_“It's ok. I'm here.”_

_“I need to tell you, Daryl. Now, before it's too late. I'm in love with you.” Rick waited for a reply. He was holding his breath and he was fairly certain his heart stopped beating. The silence was deafening. But he needed Daryl to know- all those times they sat shoulder to shoulder, lingering glances, touches that lasted longer than necessary- they were all building up to this. To Rick's heart no longer belonging to him. It was Daryl's._

_Rick waited for Daryl's reply and wished he could see him instead of just hearing his voice. Wished he could touch him, hold him._

_“Rick?”_

_Rick whirled around. The phone disappeared and Daryl was right there with him in the open field. “Daryl,” Rick whispered. And the hunter hugged him, held him tight so their bodies were flush against each other._

_He felt Daryl kiss at his temple and he turned his head, desperate for Daryl's lips to find his._

_But then he was alone again in the field, the phone back in his hand and he heard Daryl's voice on the other end, “Rick?”_

_“Yes, Daryl? I'm here.”_

_“You need to get up.”_

_“What?” Rick asked as he saw Lori up ahead, her white dress billowing in the breeze. She pointed ahead at the prison and the violet sky had turned grey with swirls of black. Lori’s dress became stained with soot that fell from the sky like rain._

_“Rick, You need to get up NOW,” Daryl shouted through the phone._

Rick woke with a start, the dream falling from vivid memory to hazy confusion as the seconds ticked by until he could barely remember anything more than violet skies and a phone. The room was dark. His aches and pains were still there but he could tell with just a small shift in position that there was less discomfort. His mouth was dry and his stomach growled. He sat up and saw Merle in the recliner across from him asleep. He looked at the coffee table and saw the pudding can empty, an empty box of Ritz, peanut shells and an untouched can of green beans. Thankfully the can had a pull top and he opened it, shoving beans in with his fingers. He found the other half of the bottle of water tucked against his side where he left it and guzzled it down so fast he started choking. 

Merle darted awake and sat up staring at Rick with his weapon raised. Rick reflexively raised his hands in surrender. “How long I been asleep?” he asked with his mouth full of green beans. 

Merle gaped at him. “How long you been asleep? How long you been asleep? Christ, asshole! Three damn days! Thought you was gonna fucking die on me.” He walked into the other room and came back with another bottle of water throwing it hard at the couch, pretending to aim for Rick, but clearly missing him on purpose. 

“You’re lucky I didn’t. Could’ve killed you in your sleep if I turned,” Rick said as he stood and tried to take a step only to trip and fall to the floor. 

“Nah. Tied your feet together,” he said, with a bark of laughter. 

“Fuck,” the leader grumbled as he rubbed at a knee. He stood, stretched and drank the water. He was still sore everywhere but he felt like he could walk on his own. Could even maybe run if he had to. “Feel better. Let’s go,” he said as he untied the rope around his ankles.

Merle looked out the window. “I’m eager too, Grimes, but night ain’t no time to be out. And I barely got a wink a sleep worrying over your damn ass. Up all night last night cause a group came through. Living, not dead and you know that’s even worse. Had to kill one when I got spotted. ‘Fraid I was gonna hafta try to take all six of ‘em out myself but luckily the rest gave up looking for their missing guy pretty quick and passed on through. Got goddamn lucky cause you clearly weren’t gonna do nothin’ but snore on ‘em.”

“Well, I’m good now,” Rick nodded. “Get some rest. I’ll stay on watch. We’ll leave at first light?”

“Whatever,” Merle grumbled and he moved to the couch and stretched out. Rick watched him for a moment, cocking his head to the side.

“Thank you, Merle,” Rick said softly. “You didn’t need to stay here. Know we haven’t always been on the best of terms.”

Merle cracked an eye open and looked up at Rick. “We both care about Daryl. Ain’t been a lot of folks in this world that gave a shit about Dixons. You took him in and treated him like an equal instead a’ somethin’ you stepped in. Just...whatever. Go away. I need some damn sleep.” 

Rick smiled at the man. He was an absolute asshole 95% of the time. But there was a glimmer of good in him that Rick loved to be able to see. Merle loved his brother. And he was right… their mutual dedication to Daryl is what they had in common. And it was what would make them be able to work together to find him and to find Rick’s kids. 

He didn’t doubt for a second that Merle was right about Daryl taking them to the bus. Daryl looked after Carl and Judith like they were his own. Hell, he had held Judith before Rick did. Fed her. Comforted her when Rick was falling to pieces. Daryl had picked him up and put him back together more times than he could count and what had Rick done for him? Left his brother to die on a rooftop in Atlanta? Let him and Merle both walk away from the prison when Rick was unable to work out a truce with the rest of the family? Led him into war with a madman? He owed Daryl in a million ways. Not just because Daryl had done so much for him but because Rick had done nothing but fuck up. He wasn’t going to fuck up again. He needed to get back to Daryl with his brother in tow this time.

He peeked out the front window at the empty street. It must have rained for days while he was unconscious. The ground was soaked and the pot-holed road was covered in puddles. There was still a hazy drizzle. He glanced back at Merle on the couch, already snoring quietly. He wanted to get to his kids as badly as he wanted to bring Daryl his brother. As badly as _he_ wanted to get back to Daryl. 

He thought about Carl. How glad he was that Daryl had finally convinced him to get the boy practiced in shooting again. Kid was a damn good shot. Had even been nagging Daryl to learn the bow. 

_”He’d teach me if I asked,” Carl said._

_“Yeah, he would,” Rick admitted. They were in the back of the prison yard finishing up target practice._

_They walked slowly back around to the front of the prison. “He’s still doing that thing, you know,” Carl said._

_“What thing?”_

_“Scraping most of his share of food onto your plate when you aren’t looking.”_

_Rick shook his head. He’d caught Daryl red-handed twice and the archer insisted he was full. He and Carol and Maggie had all been making comments to Rick about how little he was eating and how much weight he had lost._

_“Thanks for telling me. I’ll have to keep a better eye on him,” Rick grinned._

_“Are you mad at him?” Carl asked._

_Rick laughed. “No. I’m not mad at him. But he needs to eat, too.”_

_They were quiet for a moment and Carl was swinging the pistol in his hand. “Carl. It’s a weapon not a toy. When you aren’t using it, holster it.”_

_Carl obeyed without complaint. “You used to do the same thing, actually.”_

_“I used to swing my gun around like an idiot?” Rick asked with a smirk._

_“No, dad,” Carl said rolling his eyes. “You used to scrape your food onto mom’s plate when she wasn’t looking.”_

_Rick looked at the ground and nodded his head. “Yeah.”_

_“You look at him like that, too.”_

_Rick turned to his son and cocked his head. “Like what?”_

_“Like the same way you used to look at mom. Before, you know.”_

_Rick remembered the dinner that night after his conversation with Carl. He’d been trying to keep an eye on Daryl to make sure he wasn’t trying to fatten Rick up with his rations._

_They sat together like they always did. Side by side, always. Dinner was fresh deer meat from a recent kill, fresh green beans from a recent harvest in the garden and instant mashed potatoes from a recent supply run to a Costco. They had more instant mashed potatoes than they knew what to do with. Judith was in heaven._

_Rick looked at the end of the table as Glenn was finishing the punchline to a joke and when he looked back there was a huge chunk of deer meat right in a spot he knew he’d left empty on his plate. He looked at Daryl and the blank look on the archer’s face was so forced it made Rick burst out laughing. Which in turn made Daryl burst out laughing._

_“Look! Squirrel!” Rick said pointing behind the archer, and Daryl looked, either from habit or to play along and Rick put the meat back on Daryl’s plate. It was a stupid thing they’d started doing from an old cartoon. Pointing to squirrels to distract each other. It really worked with Daryl when they were in the woods. In fact, it started because Rick kept really seeing them and pointing them out… way too loudly for Daryl to get a shot off before they ran away. When Daryl looked back at his plate, he shook his head immediately._

_“No way, man. It’s got your cooties now.” The rest of the table laughed and joked with them as they battled back and forth. “Eat it, man. You need the protein. I got plenty of potatoes. And he did. Christ, Daryl was the only one besides Judith who wasn’t getting sick of them. He had a small mountain on his plate._

_After the chunk of meat had been on and off each of their plates a dozen times, they finally settled on splitting it in half after several rounds of ‘rock, paper, scissors’ ended in disagreements. Beth started telling a story about growing up back on the farm and as Rick watched her, he could hear Daryl behind him futzing with his plate._

_When he turned back, completely ready to scoop up Daryl’s potatoes and smash them in his face, he saw that his own plate was empty. His potatoes were gone and so were Daryl’s. Then he heard Judith coo and hiccup and he looked across the table to see her hands in a pile of potatoes bigger than her head._

_“Judith!” Daryl gasped sarcastically. “Those were mine!”  
_

Rick smiled at the thought of Daryl’s giggle. The idea of him playing with Judith to gang up on Rick for a practical joke. There was something about that hardened, dirty, redneck that lit up a room when he’d smile or laugh. And Rick found that he’d go out of his way to try to make it happen. It made his own heart lighter to see it. 

Rick wished the man were here now. Just for one of their quiet nights on watch together, talking or not talking. Just the feel of Daryl beside him, the warmth radiating from his body, it was a comfort that Rick could never fully describe. Rick couldn’t function without him. At every decision he’d meet Daryl’s eyes. His eyes were like a gavel to Rick. A final decision. He trusted Daryl more than he trusted himself. So he knew… beyond a shadow of a doubt that his children were alive and waiting for him. And so was Daryl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone is enjoying even though the boys aren't together!


	7. While I Pondered Weak and Weary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my beta, Stylepoints. It was her idea to add a full memory scene about dinner in the last chapter! Three cheers for beta's!

Three days later Daryl and Carl were still impatiently waiting in the big farm house surrounded by pecan trees. The rain hadn’t let up and Daryl had convinced Carl that waiting out the weather was the best thing they could do considering they had the baby. It had been a constant downpour and would just be too dangerous to take Judith out in it. They had food, weapons and Carl and Daryl swapped off on watch. It was working for the time being, but Daryl’s head was never not wondering how Merle and Rick were fairing.

Judith was playing with alphabet blocks that they had found in an upstairs room and Carl moved one of the black checkers with a smug look on his face. “King me,” he said.

“I hate this game,” Daryl sighed. 

“Then let’s go,” Carl suggested. It had been a daily conversation. Daryl trying to be cautious and smart, and Carl- ever the Grimes- impatient as hell to move.

“Carl, I told you. This is the long game. Like hunting. You don’t take the first shot because you see something move in the trees. You wait, you watch, you think. You plan your move. You make the best decision and sometimes it takes time. Thunder rumbled across the sky as if Mother Nature had Daryl’s back in this argument. 

Carl sighed. “I know. I know you’re right. I just… I…”

“You want your dad. I know. I’m eager to see everyone too.”

“Surprised you aren’t the one itching to get going, actually,” Carl said as he started folding up the board game. Apparently it’s lost it’s charm after winning ten straight games to Daryl.

“I’ve always been patient.”

“But you probably want to get to my dad even more than I do,” Carl said as if the implication of the sentence should have been completely understood.

“What? What does that mean?”

Carl looked up, blinking like he was trying to decide if Daryl was seriously asking the question or not. “Really?” Carl answered.

“You know I always been fine on my own my entire life, what makes you think I should be chomping at the bit to reconnect with everydamnbody?”

“Not everybody,” Carl corrected as he put a few of Judith’s blocks on top of each other and watched her knock them down. “Just my Dad.”

Daryl didn’t respond and his belly did some weird kind of revolt, like his intestines were competing in the Olympic gymnastics. 

Carl sighed and leaned back against the couch, hugging his knees. “You can tell me, Daryl. I don’t mind it. In fact, I think it’s a good thing. I’d love it if-”

“What the hell are you talking about, Carl?” Daryl interrupted. Because Daryl was starting to assume that Carl thought there was…. something more to Daryl’s admiration of his dad. And, as patient a man as he was, conversations that were hard to follow pissed him off.

Carl cocked his head, the same damn way Rick would. “You’re in love with my Dad,” Carl said as if it was as simple a statement as the sky being blue or water being wet.

“What?!” Daryl laughed. “Where the hell did you get that from, kid? What kinda books was you reading back there at the prison?”

Carl smiled. “Oh. You hadn’t realized it yet, then?”

“Realized… What- I’m not in love with anyone. That’s the most -”

“Daryl? I said it’s ok by me. I’m not judging you. I want you to love him.”

Daryl stood and put his crossbow over his shoulder as if he needed it to defend himself. “Look, man. I… I love all of you. You and Judith and yeah, man… Rick and Merle and Glenn and Maggie-”

“I don’t just mean like that and you know it, Daryl. Why do you both pretend so hard you don’t want more? There isn’t much worth living for in this world. You find something nice, you should take it, don’t you think? If I ever meet anyone that I click with the way you two click… I’m not gonna waste a damn second fighting it. I want to have someone one day. It might be the end of the world but we are all still alive, Daryl.”

“Are you… Are you giving me advice on love? You’re a damn kid! I’m a grown ass man.”

“You’re an idiot, Daryl.”

Daryl took his bow back off and put it down. Then put it back on. He was jittery and completely uncertain of how to answer this damn kid. “I’m not a… “

“I think he’s in love with you, too,” Carl said. 

Daryl walked to the window and prayed to whatever the fuck was in charge of rain that it stop. They needed to get moving. Damn kid was getting stir crazy trapped in this house. 

“He sits next to you all the time at meals. He leans in really close when he talks to you. Looks for you all the time. Whenever he’s not with you, it’s literally because he’s looking for you. He looks at you… like he used to look at mom, y’know before the walkers, before he was shot, before they were headed for divorce.”

“No, man. You’re just… you ain’t got no TV to keep you busy and you’re reading into shit that ain’t there. He looks at me… like Shane. Like a brother. We’re family. All of us.”

Carl shrugged. “Whatever.”

“I’m… I’m not gay. Your dad’s not gay.”

“How do you know?”

“Because… because- he’s not! He was married to Lori. He-”

“Haven’t you ever heard of bisexual, Daryl. God, I thought you were supposed to be the grown-up here.”

Daryl was suddenly shocked quiet. He cocked his head like an honorary Grimes. “Rick is bisexual?”

Carl shrugged. “Beats me. Haven’t had time for the birds and bees talk yet. Dead walking and all. Been busy. But he could be, right? Way he leans against you. Way he smiles when he sees you coming back from a hunt.” Carl grinned like the obnoxious, pretentious teen he should be allowed to be. “Why you asking, huh? Cause you WANT him to be bisexual? Cause you Looooove him?” Carl teased.

“I have beat the shit out of people for less lip than that I’ll have you know,” Daryl groused.

“You won’t hit me. Not after-” Carl stopped his sentence and his playful mannerisms ceased.

“Not after what?”

“Nothing. Sorry.”

Daryl stayed quiet and watched Carl build several more block towers, Judith knocking each over with a giggle. The kid glanced back up to see that he was quietly being watched. Daryl was waiting him out. 

“Just like, I know you got hit when you were a kid and you wouldn’t ever do that. I’m sorry. I know you don’t like to talk about it.”

“How’d you know that?” Daryl asked quietly. 

“You told Dad a little about it one time. And I was playing around and had pushed at you one time when we were running around in the yard and you flinched really bad and Dad told me that night to be careful about stuff like that. Got all teary. Started talking all about what an amazing person you are. A survivor and shit and frankly, Daryl- It was like he was pining over you the way my old babysitter used to pine over the quarterback of the football team.”

Daryl didn’t say anything. He really didn’t think he was gay. Hadn’t thought he was, anyway. He knew he’d been confused about some of his feelings for the other man, his best friend. Never had a ton of girlfriends and was never really crazy about any of them. Rick though… Rick, he never stopped thinking about.

He walked back to the window and looked out. “Looks like it’s letting up. We’ll head out in the morning if it’s stopped, okay?” Daryl said to signify that the conversation was over. “I’ll take first watch.”

That night Daryl sat alone on the front porch, Carl and Judith both sleeping peacefully in the living room. And he tried to picture what Carl had been going on about. Rick and him, in love with each other? How the hell does that even work? He thought about shared hugs, gentle touches and he examined them with this new possibility in his mind. He let his mind wander into memory…

_  
“It’s good you're picking up the gun again. Teaching Carl. The farming is good too, but in this world… good to keep all our skills sharp.” Daryl said._

_Rick gave him a knowing look._

_“What’s that face mean?” Daryl asked_

_“What face?”_

_“The one on your head. You gave me a look, man.” Daryl laughed. He never much laughed with anyone other than Rick. He was never really sure why that was._

_“You know… you’re a God with the bow, man. But you ain’t the best shot with a gun,” Rick said, a little blush rising on his cheeks._

_“Bet I’m better with your Colt than you are with my bow, jackass,” Daryl said with a raised brow._

_“Is that a challenge?”  
_

Daryl played it over in his head again. Were they flirting?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They both seem to be realizing stuff. And thangs!


	8. Between the shadow and the soul

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stylepoints is an awesome beta.

Rick kicked at the couch to rouse Merle. The sun was starting to come up and now was the time to move to get the most distance. Merle grunted and opened his eyes. “I let your ass sleep for three days and this is the thanks I get? Couple hours?”

“Daylight. We need to make the best use of the sun,” Rick said as he packed up a book bag he’d found in an upstairs closet. “I got us the rest of those granola bars, some canned soups and a bunch of Gatorades. Still got my Colt, but not a ton of ammo. Got a knife and a hatchet. What do you have with you?”

Merle sat up and rubbed at his face with his hand as he raised the prosthetic one. “Got this, which I guess I got you to thank for.”

Rick rolled his eyes and Merle stood and pointed to the arsenal he’d accumulated while Rick was unconscious. “Brought the Uzi from the prison. Have a few rounds in my bag. Got a Mossberg. Couple knives. We’ll be ok.” Merle walked to the corner of the living room and unzipped, taking a piss on a dead potted plant.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“We’re leaving. Don’t matter, officer. You gonna give me a ticket for public urination?”

Rick shook his head and zipped up his bag. “Let’s try to get one of these cars out here started. Can’t be more than 20 miles away from the rendezvous. Everyone’s probably waiting for us.”

Merle grabbed his things and walked out, Rick following closely behind. “Ain’t been a lot of walkers, but like I said- had a few live ones the other night. We’ll want to keep our eyes open.” 

They found a car a few houses down with a walker still in the driver’s seat. Rick dispatched it and pulled it out. The keys were in the ignition and they had a good half tank of gas to work with. They fought for ten minutes about who should drive. In the end, it was Merle, not from any logical argument he made for it, but simply because Rick was tired of talking about it. 

It was slow going in the neighborhood. Still lots of debris. Stalled cars. Trash cans. Abandoned suitcases. Bodies. Once they hit the main road they started making better time and Rick was feeling optimistic in the passenger seat. He was breathing easier. Some of his bruises had yellowed and were almost gone. He knew… he _knew_ his kids were safe. Daryl was with them. And that was almost a guarantee. Hell, it was better than them being with Rick. 

Rick was self-aware enough to know his own faults. He was stubborn and impatient. He made decisions based on emotion instead of being rational. That’s why he stepped down, why he didn’t want to be the one calling the shots anymore. But Daryl… Daryl was always zen. Calm, quick when he needed to be, patient when it was called for. He didn’t let his emotions rule him like Rick did. Hell, more often than not, Daryl was the one talking Rick down from whatever fit he’d stirred himself up into. Daryl was almost like Rick’s own conscience. He was just always there. Rick gravitated to him all the time. He wasn’t an idiot. He noticed that. He knew he always felt better being near the hunter. He could remember so many times that just his presence made everything so much easier.

_”Hey, you good?” Daryl asked._

_Rick was on a shift in the tower after a long, hard day. The fences had nearly given way with the weight of the influx of walkers that had been coming their way. Things were better now, they reinforced the wall, all of them working as a team, but Rick’s heart was still pumping faster from the scare of it. And of course, Daryl knew. Rick looked up at the archer and was suddenly better. That quickly._

_“Yeah, I’m good.”_

_Daryl sat down next to him like he always did and started peeling open a Kit Kat he’d brought with him._

_“Ain’t your fault, y’know,” he said as he broke one of the wafers off and took a bite. He knew Rick felt the responsibility for everyone in the prison regardless of the fact that he stepped down as leader and had mostly been focused on the garden. Rick needed to hear that- that it wasn’t his fault. Without Daryl to level him out he’d have let guilt eat him alive. And they hadn’t even lost anyone that day. But just the thought of it. Rick was the one who got them there. He was the one who wanted to move into the prison. It was his idea and anything that happened there would be on his shoulders regardless of who was in charge anymore._

_Daryl broke off another wafer from the Kit Kat and reached over, shoving it in Rick’s mouth. He ate it with a smile. “Thanks. Needed that. The support and the candy bar both. You always seem to know what I need.”_

_The archer nodded. “Same with you. Sure as shit need those lessons with the pistol. You were right, I’m a shitty shot, man.”_

_Daryl stuck another piece of the candy bar in Rick’s mouth as both men laughed. “You know what I really need?” Rick said with air of wistfulness._

_“What’s that?”_

_“Peanut M &M’s, man.”_

_“You sayin’ you don’t appreciate my Kit Kat?” Daryl asked with a smile and a nudge to Rick’s shoulder. It was such a simple thing. And such a passing comment. They went on to talk for hours about how to reinforce the walls, but when Rick retired to his cell the next night after Daryl, Bob and Maggie had gone out for a run, there was a small bag of Peanut M &M’s laying on his cot._

Memories like that made Rick look back a little different recently. A fleeting whisper of his dream floated past- Rick in a field with Daryl holding him. He looked over at Merle behind the wheel.

“What did you mean the other day when you said ‘I wouldn’t do that to my brother’, y’know about not leaving me?” The words had been caught in the back of Rick’s brain for days like seaweed in a fishing net. 

Merle looked over and rolled his eyes. “Are you kidding me with this shit?”

“With what shit?”

“With this schoolboy ‘does he like me’ bullsh-” Merle stopped in mid-sentence as the car took a bend and stopped hard, the bus from the prison right in front of them on it’s side. Rick’s heart was in his throat. 

“No!” he whimpered.

“Don’t jump to conclusions, Grimes. Don’t go off the rails on me. Let’s just check it, nice and calm.” 

Rick was out of the car, a hand hovering over his hatchet and moving to the bus. He saw bodies, walkers, trapped inside and still moving. He saw handprints and blood all over the outside of the bus. If anyone survived could they even have gotten away? This thing must have been covered by a horde. 

“Carl!” Rick yelled as he circled around the bus looking for signs… any kind of clue that they got out. It had probably been sitting here the whole three days he was unconscious. When he made his way back around to the rear he looked through the window and saw Carl’s hat. “Noo!!” he sobbed, falling to his knees. “No.”

“You done being dramatic?” Merle asked.

“You are so fucking heartless! These are my children!! DARYL! _Your brother_. How can you-” Rick shoved at Merle just wanting a fight. Just wanting his fists to feel something. He was still woozy and weaker than when he was in peak form and Merle simply held Rick’s forehead back with his good hand, Rick looking like a tortured kid in high school getting bullied, his weak swings barely landing.

“Seriously. Can we be done?” Merle said again, completely devoid of emotion. Rick stopped, out of breath and looked at Merle as the man pointed with his knife-hand to a high window on the back of the bus. It was faded from the rain, but it was still clear enough to read. 

_DD CG JG- Alive_

“Figure they went that direction,” Merle pointed. “We could either try to track ‘em through the woods, or stick to the road, make it to rendezvous and see if they’d already made their way there?”

Rick just looked at the bloody message in awe. He’d never have the kind of patience and calm that these Dixon’s had. He looked back to Merle. “Woods?”

Merle nodded and started walking. “You’re kind of a drama queen, Rick.”


	9. Enter Again The Sweet Forest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I mention this is Beta'd by Stylepoints!!? :-D

By dawn the rain had stopped and Daryl and Carl packed up a couple of sturdy backpacks full of supplies and rigged a papoose to carry Judith easier. Daryl had made a few wide circles around the pecan grove during the rainy days while they were waiting and he found the creek. He had a fairly strong sense of where they were, and where they needed to go to reach the rendezvous. It would probably be a good ten miles. They should be able to make it by nightfall without much trouble. Judith was as quiet as an angel and Carl was as deadly as the devil. If they crossed walkers, they could handle it. If they crossed people… well, they’d hope not to cross people. The living were a lot worse than the dead these days. The Governor and his people had been proof of that. 

Daryl was comfortable walking quietly through the woods. He much preferred it to being up on the road where others might find them. They had left the prison before they could see who was left from the Governor’s army or if the prison was even in good enough shape for the Governor to claim it as his own. He assumed Merle and Rick had killed the monster, but he couldn’t be sure, so he continued to be on the lookout for the dead… and for the living.

After about two hours of walking, Daryl was inundated with a smell worse than that of the dead. “Hold up, man. She needs changing in a big way.”

“Your turn,” Carl said quickly. 

“No it ain’t. I changed it before we left the house!” Daryl argued.

“But I had to do it twice, back to back, because of early morning watch.”

“Were those poo or pee though,” Daryl countered.

“Don’t matter.”

“Oh, it matters” Daryl said as he put down his bow and backpack and wrangled Judith out of the papoose. 

“Rock, paper, scissors?” Carl offered. Daryl laid her out in a clear patch of grass and on the count of three they both showed middle fingers instead of rock, paper, _or_ scissors. They both giggled and Daryl went to work removing the cloth diaper. They made more of a joke out of taking turns than being hard and fast about it. He wiped her down with the clean end of the cloth diaper and handed it to Carl to take the creek and clean out.

“This is actually the worst part,” Carl said as he scrubbed at it with a rock. “This one has maybe one or two more good uses before we’re going to have to abandon it. How many more we got?” Daryl counted as he grabbed one of the few clean ones he had in his bag… well, as clean as rock and creekwater could get them and he pinned it up to her. “‘Bout four. See if we can get another couple uses out of that one.”

“Da!” Judy gurgled. 

“You smell worse than the dead, baby girl. Good thing you’re a cutie pie.” He heard a rustle in the leaves and he and Carl both stood, weapons aimed instantly. Judith remained in the grass cooing and grabbing at dandelions.

It was just a long dead one- skin peeling off, one hand clearly broken, clothes in tatters. Parts of it looked burned. Daryl took the shot with his bow and the walker dropped instantly. He went over and stepped on it’s head to retrieve his bolt. “We gotta keep moving. Need more people. Can’t just go on with only the three of us like this. If that was three or four it coulda gotten ugly.”

Carl nodded and picked Judith up. “Try not to poop for a while, Judy, can yah?” Carl teased as he helped Daryl get her back in the papoose. They continued on without much conversation for another few hours. Daryl was getting familiar with the lay of the land. He knew which way the old Greene Farm was, which way their rendezvous at the church was and which way was the spot on the road where Sophia was lost-- where it all started really going to shit.

“What should we do after we all meet back up at the rendezvous?” Carl asked as they continued trudging along the creek.

Daryl shrugged.

“I mean after you and my dad like run into each other’s arms and kiss in slow motion.” Carl giggled as Daryl swatted at him with a twig he’d been fiddling with. He had Judith wrapped up against his belly and she kept grabbing at his hair and quietly saying “Da! Da!”

“Shut up, man,” Daryl said, self conscious.

“Seriously, Daryl,” Carl said as he picked up a rock and tried to skip it across the lazy water of the creek, “The funny thing is… you haven’t tried to tell me you _don’t_ love him.”

Daryl looked at Carl with a frown but no words. Judith tugged at the wisps of his beard. “Da!” she said again softly.

“Daryl,” he corrected her. “You can do it, girlie. Daaarrryl.”

“Maybe she’s trying to call you Daddy because even she knows you and my Dad are-”

“Carl! We ain’t anything. We’re just… family. Friends. He’s… my best friend. Never had that before so maybe that’s why it seems like I’m focused on him a lot. I look up to him. He led the group when we were wandering aimlessly after the farm. He’s strong. He’s loyal. He’s-”

“He’s soooo cute,” Carl interrupted with a high pitched sarcastic voice.

“You’re an asshole, Carl,” Daryl said flatly.

“Ass,” Judith said.

“I’ll tell yah-” Daryl caught another scent and stopped in mid-sentence, looking back at Carl. They spoke without words much like Daryl was able to do with Rick. They both sniffed again at the air, brows furrowed. “Fire,” Daryl said softly.

“How close are we to rendezvous?”

“Less than half a mile at my guess,” Daryl answered softly. 

“Could be us? Dad and Merle? Or maybe Michonne or Glenn or..” Carl let the sentence die on his lips and he frowned. “Smells really bad. Strong. More than a campfire.”

Daryl nodded in agreement and they picked up their pace, trying harder than ever to take careful, quiet steps. The smell of smoke was stronger and the air was thicker as they made their way closer to rendezvous. It made Daryl flash back to those final moments at the prison. Air thick and gray. The smell of end, of over… of finality.

Daryl looked at Carl and nodded, a silent instruction to pull his weapon and be ready. The church was dead ahead past the next copse of trees. As the location came into view, they froze. 

It was gone. Burned to the ground. The thick, suffocating scent of charred bodies and burnt wood heavy in the air. They circled the ruins and Daryl kicked at burned bodies looking for anyone or anything recognizable. Carl didn’t say a word. He waited patiently for Daryl to assess the situation. At least he’d gotten one Grimes to learn some patience. 

“These bodies… don’t look like any of ours. Looks like a campfire there. Maybe a group got caught off guard by walkers. Killed. Fire spread.”

The bodies were only partially burned and Carl looked at them after Daryl and nodded in agreement. “Think Dad and Merle have already been by?” he asked.

Daryl petted at Judy’s fine hair absentmindedly and looked around the perimeter. “Maybe? They wouldn’t have had reason to wait out the rain like we did with Judith.”

“Where do you think they would-”

“The highway,” Daryl interrupted. “Where we left the food for Sophia. Let’s look for word up there.”

Carl nodded and they made their way through a section of woods that Daryl was far too familiar with. Too many trips through it searching desperately for Sophia. The thought of losing that little girl still made his stomach lurch. Once they were close enough to the road to see some abandoned cars through the trees, Daryl started removing Judith from the papoose and handed her to Carl. “Safer in the woods out of site. If anyone was still living from that camp by the church or if anyone is still milling around from the prison attack, I need to be able to react quickly.”

“But I can help-”

“Carl,” Daryl said sharply. “This is your sister. You protect her. And sometimes that means staying put. Please.”

Carl nodded. “Ok.” Judith grabbed for his nose and said “Caa-”

“I’ll be thirty seconds. I’m betting there’s a note up there. Maybe telling us to go to the next town or back to the Greene farm. Somewhere everyone would be able to find.”

Carl nodded again and Daryl slipped up to the road quietly with his bow up and aimed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, it was finally time for me to take on a serious matter that had never been shown in canon- Diapers.
> 
> Sooooo.... I wonder what will happen next? Will Rick and Daryl be reunited? Will there be any trouble before they find eachother? Will they find anyone else? Will Rick and Daryl finally act on their feelings? Will they run out of diapers? These questions all answered and more in the next few chapters!


	10. Some Say The World Will End In Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta'd, as always, by the lovely Stylepoints.

“Well motherfucker,” Merle said as they stood over the ashen remains of the church… the rendezvous. 

“What do you think happened?” Rick asked as he squatted down taking a close look at the handful of bodies.

“Hard to say. Looks like there was a group here. None look like ours though.”

“No,” Rick agreed.

“Overrun and the fire got out of control? Had it awful close to the building. If anyone else from the prison made it here… Daryl...where you think they’d try next?” Merle asked. All the sarcasm and sass had drained out of him. It dawned on Rick that Merle had been as eager to find the others as he was, although the aggressive ex-con didn’t ever act like it.

“The highway,” Rick answered immediately. “Where we left the note and the food for Sophia.” He started to move quickly in the direction that he was fairly certain was correct but Merle put a hand out to stop him and pointed to tracks in the ground- two sets… one Daryl-sized and one Carl-sized… and a dirty diaper that they must have deemed too over-used to take another cleaning. Rick looked up at Merle with a giant smile and Merle actually smiled back. 

“Told ya, fucking drama queen. Ain’t nothing keeping my little brother down. Probably been fighting off walkers one handed while changing pipsqueak’s diaper and teaching Carl how to learn the crossbow with the other.”

Rick laughed and then moved with purpose towards the roadway. The silence between them when they moved was not the same kind of silence Rick was used to with Daryl. When he and Daryl walked quietly there was an understanding and a peace between them, an ‘I'm here’. No need for words to express the moment or the chemistry between them. Was chemistry the right word? Connection? Rick tried to look back at what the two of them had as he and Merle made their way through the forest. 

_  
During the long winter, after the farm and before the prison, they’d been holed up in a home on the edge of an unfamiliar town. Rick and Daryl had gone out to scout the area, make sure there were no nearby herds and maybe hunt for some much needed protein. Rick was taking extra care with each step, trying to make use of the lessons Daryl had been giving him on trying to be as quiet as possible in the woods. He stepped on a branch and it cracked, a tiny sound in and of itself, but set against the absolute quiet around them, it was more like a burst of thunder. Daryl looked over at him and just started giggling._

_“Five minutes,” he laughed._

_“That was more than five minutes!” Rick insisted. The last rustle of noise he made couldn’t have been that short a time ago. Daryl pointed to Rick’s watch with a brow raised. He looked, and son-of-a-bitch, it was almost five minutes to the T. “God damnit!” Rick muttered._

_“It’s okay,” Daryl said sincerely, then followed with, “We’ll just starve. Don’t worry about it.”_

_“I know you wanted to come out alone today. I just… I don’t like any of us being alone,” Rick explained in a whisper as they moved ahead._

_“You just want to get away from everyone always lookin’ to ya for answers all the time. I don’t blame you. It’s okay. Seriously.”_

_“Busted,” Rick said with a laugh._

_“I don’t mind the company. Sometimes it’s nice not being alone.”_

_Rick could hear the sound of revelation in Daryl’s voice. Like he always thought he preferred to be alone until he learned what it was like not to be._

_“Maybe next time I should let Carol come with you?” Rick said with a grin. He’d started to wonder if the gentle widow had been developing feelings for Daryl._

_The archer looked back at Rick and rolled his eyes. “Not interested,” he answered plainly._

_“I think she’s interested,” Rick teased._

_Daryl blushed. “Not my type, man.”_

_“What’s your type?”_

_Daryl shrugged. “Been too busy surviving to worry about shit like that. Even before the end of the world, y’know?”_

_Rick nodded. They’d changed from whispers to just soft voices, clearly abandoning a serious hunt for just a walk together away from the others. Rick was perceptive, too, like Daryl was. And he’d known for a while from some of the man’s movements, some of the comments about his brother, that they had faced some adversity growing up that Rick hadn’t._

_“Sorry about that,” Rick said._

_Daryl looked at him with a smile. “Not everything in the world is your fault y’know.”_

_“I know.”_

_Daryl shook his head and smiled. “No you don’t. You put the weight of the world on your own shoulders. Not your fault the world’s ending. Not your fault what happened with Shane. Not your fault I got the shit beat out of me dozens of years ago. But I know you still feel like everything is yours to fix.”_

_And then they fell into silence, continuing their aimless perimeter walk without much intent to hunt and without any further need for words. Daryl probably lost in thoughts of being alone and not being alone while Rick was lost in thoughts of realistic responsibility- lost in their own thoughts without being alone in them. And just being quietly beside each other was a kind of support and comfort that Rick had never felt.  
_

“Merle?”

“Yeah?” 

Rick didn't know how to ask his question. Hell, he didn't even know what the question was. “Nothing.” 

Merle had been a tough one to figure out. He seemed so cut and dried back there on the rooftop in Atlanta. Just a stereotypical backwoods, redneck, racist jackass. Nothing more than a junkie. But then he would do something unexpected. Like love his brother in a way that Rick had never observed between siblings. Like drag Rick’s half-dead body into a truck and watch after him for days. Like trying to take the burden off Rick with the offer to trade Michonne in for safety. And then letting her go. And risking his own life for a prison full of people that he spent most of his time snarling at and bitching about. It was like he was resigned to be what he came from, but there was a glimmer of more in him that he tried to deny was there.

“Why did you do what you did back at the prison? Taking Michonne for me. Letting her go. Then trying to take the Governor down for us?”

“‘Pocalypse is boring, Rick. I needed something to do.”

“Could have been a suicide mission. You could have died. That would have killed Daryl.”

Merle glanced over at Rick and then back ahead as they walked. “You been Daryl's family. A better one than me. I know that. He didn't get a good one in the first world. Our folks was shit and I wasn't always there when I should have been. You been there for him. Since the beginning. I was protecting Daryl’s home... the one he has with you. And-”. Merle took a big sigh. “I see the way he looks at you. The way you look at him.”

“How do we look at each other?” Rick asked, his brows furrowed.

Merle rolled his eyes. “Like you’re at an all-you-can-eat buffet and you don't know what part to get your hands on first. Like ya got the shakes and you're eyeing up the first shot a whisky ya seen in months.”

“Well, if we look hungry and thirsty it's cause we’re hungry and thirsty. It's the apocalypse. We’re always hungry and thirsty.”

“Don’t be a dumbass, Grimes.”

“If I look at him like… like I admire him or something, it’s because I do. He’s a good man. A decent man. He’s loyal and caring and selfless. He don’t even realize all the good in him. He don’t think he’s worth the company he keeps and the truth is we are the ones who aren’t worth his love. No… no- I didn’t mean love… I meant-”

“You meant love.”

Rick stuttered trying to come up with a response but ended up lost in his own head before he could find words.

“Look, Friendly. I know you think I'm just some redneck asshole. And you're right, I am. But being a redneck asshole don't mean I ain't perceptive. I can read people better than you think.”

“Daryl is… he’s the only thing that keeps my feet planted on this earth sometimes. He’s … But he's not...”

“He's in love with you, too.”

“What? Did he say that?” Rick asked. And he knew it immediately- knew how it sounded. Like a damn teenager finding out a crush was reciprocated. And that was the moment he realized… maybe he _was_ in love with Daryl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gosh... It's almost over! What's going to happen!?!?


	11. Will you leave me here dying?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Stylepoints for reviewing some last minute edits!!

The sound of silence being broken by the all-too-familiar click of a gun is about the worst sound in the history of the world, before the dead or after. Daryl froze, not even looking back to face the holder of the weapon he heard over his right shoulder.

“You the asshole that took down one of my men a few towns back?” a gritty voice asked. Then Daryl heard the second worst sound in the world. Footsteps from more men, living men, not the easily dispensable dead ones. They were stepping out from the brush onto the pavement surrounding him and his heart pounded. Carl and Judith were way too close. Daryl turned to face the man that must be the leader, lowering his bow.

“‘Cause the law of the land these days is eye for an eye,” the man continued.

“It couldn’t have been me,” Daryl said as he raised his hands. “I haven’t been in a town. Been alone in the woods for weeks, man.” He hoped he didn’t oversell the word ‘alone’. He didn’t want them scouting nearby.

“How long you plan on lasting alone?”

“Long as I can manage,” Daryl answered. 

“You gonna just believe him, Joe? Lou’s dead. And this asshole’s the only live one we’ve found in weeks. Can’t just be a coincidence.”

Joe looked at his man and nodded. “Good point. But he _IS_ the only live one we’ve found in weeks so maybe we can make him worth our while first before we kill him.”

“I can hunt. Track. I’d be a valuable asset,” Daryl said. “I can help you look for whoever murdered your friend.” Daryl felt certain it was probably someone else that had escaped the prison. His family had to be scattered all over this area. He tried to keep his voice down, didn’t want Carl to hear them and try anything. Carl needed to stay back and keep Judith quiet and away. Hopefully he knew better than to try to come up to the road in the middle of this. Daryl’s only play was to try to stay alive and to lead them away. Hope that Carl would just stay at Sophia’s car until Merle and Rick got there. He hadn’t even had a chance to glance at the right vehicle to see if there was any kind of message. Had they been here? 

Joe paced back and forth. “What’s your name?”

“Daryl.”

“Well, _Daryl_. We are all pretty good at hunting and tracking. I don’t know how valuable those traits really are. What else could you do for us?”

A heavy set man to Daryl’s left laughed and grabbed at his crotch. “I got some ideas, Joe.”

***************************************

“Something’s going on up there. I don’t recognize that voice. Can you see anything? What did he say? Did you hear?” Rick was nervous. They’d gotten this close to such a random spot in the road and there seemed to be some kind of turf war up there.

“Shut up, Grimes. Right now all I hear is your fucking mouth.” The sound of Merle nervous was incredibly unsettling. 

“Could be our people up there caught by God knows what kind of living ones. God I miss just dealing with the dead,” Rick whispered. He heard the group laugh and it sounded ominous, not funny. “I don’t like this.”

“Me either,” Merle said. “Need a closer look.” 

Rick pointed up to the right. “You go up that way. I’ll go around the other.” 

Merle nodded and moved silently through the brush to the far side of the group on the road. Rick walked up as quiet as he could, all his senses sharp and alert. 

“Ain’t there a better place? Town up ahead? Find a motel that rents rooms by the hour?” It was Daryl’s voice trying to be witty but also clearly trying to buy time. Rick’s heart was in his throat and he could barely breath. 

“Don’t need to be fancy, son. Why don’t you just go ahead and get on your knees right here.”

Rick stepped on a branch and three of the five men turned in his direction, all of them with guns aimed.

“Ohhhh! You’re alone, huh?” the man in charge said to Daryl. 

“No man, leave them. You have me. You have me. They’re just ki-” Daryl stopped in mid-sentence as Rick walked over the rise with his hands raised. “Rick,” he breathed. 

The archer was still standing, the crossbow on the ground at his feet. He looked like a warm bed, a good book, a quiet storm when you were in the mood for the sound of it. His blue eyes were drinking Rick in like they were taking in as much as they could get. The remnants of a dream floated through Rick’s brain like fluffy seeds of a dandelion after you blow on it to make a wish. He remembered Daryl’s voice, violet skies and crying into a phone. He remembered what Merle had said about the way they look at each other, the way they’ve always looked at each other. He remembered every touch, every smile, every laugh, every tear they shared. Rick saw Daryl now in a new light. He was more than family. More than brother or friend. He was Rick’s. He was everything and Rick was completely aware in that moment that he was in love with Daryl Dixon, and likely had been for a very, very long time. Losing Daryl was not an option. He needed this man. His children needed this man. The world needed men like him still in it. 

“Let him go,” Rick said, commanding, firm, despite the fact that one of the leader’s men had taken his Colt and had a gun to his temple.

“I don’t think you’re really in a position to be calling the shots here, friend of Daryl. Are you the one we have to repay for Lou’s untimely death?”

“If you’re looking for payback, you only need one. Take me. Let him go,” Rick said calmly. He knew he had his children to think of. And if they weren’t here on the road with Daryl they were probably nearby. He knew when Daryl talked about going to find a better place that he was trying to lead them away. And that’s why Daryl had to be the one to live. He knew how to deal with anything and he never fell apart the way Rick had a tendency to. He’d take better care of Carl and Judith than Rick ever could. If only one of them could walk away… it had to be Daryl. It had to be.

“No-” Daryl said and one of the men cracked him in the head with the butt of a pistol, making him fall to his knees. “No one asked your opinion, asshole,” the man growled.

Joe laughed and looked back and forth between the two men. “Well, ain’t this some Romeo and Juliet type shit right here?” He got a laugh from his group. “Tell me… which one’s Juliet?”

“I’m the one that killed Lou,” Rick said. “Your fight is with me.”

“Rick,” Daryl said in that even, calm voice. The way that made him stop and breathe. It felt like arms around him, comforting. 

“Well, now I don’t know if you are telling me the truth or telling me a lie to save your little lover here. And let me tell you… next to killing my friends, lying to me is about the worst thing you can do.”

“I’m not lying. It was me,” Rick insisted.

“How’d you kill him?” Joe asked. 

Fuck. Did Merle tell him details? He tried to think back. All he remembered was that they had been moving through town… what weapons did Merle… 

“A knife.” Merle wouldn’t have shot a weapon with the other men nearby. It would have been close quarters and was probably his prosthetic knife. It was as good a shot as any.

“Joe, we were almost done here. Take me. I did it. He’s just trying to protect me,” Daryl pleaded.

“A knife, huh?” Joe said looking around at all his men, then at Daryl and back again at Rick. “It was a brick. Smashed his brains in. That means you lied,” he threw a thumb over his shoulder to Daryl, “and he killed Lou.”

***************************************

The archer felt relief with Joe’s gun aimed back on him. When Daryl had first laid eyes on Rick as he walked over the rise, his heart was stuck in his throat. He thought he might suffocate and die before anyone even had a chance to kill him. Having his eyes on Rick was like having the sun on his skin, air in his lungs. Carl was right. As Daryl looked at Rick, at his blue eyes, his soft lips, his long curls and his determined stance, he knew. He had never loved anyone like he loved Rick Grimes. He would give this man his life without batting an eye. And he would be honored by the privilege of it. He only wished, just once that he’d have had a chance to feel those lips against his own before he was killed. Wished for those arms around him and Rick’s comforting words against his ear. Daryl knew he was facing death. These men were likely to take him out at any moment but he prayed that they’d spare Rick. He had children that needed him. He had a group that would need him back to lead them. He was an honorable man that a world like this needed. Daryl looked in Rick’s eyes and they shared a wordless conversation about the depths of their feelings.

“I loved you, Rick,” Daryl said softly as Joe cocked the gun. Daryl looked back to Joe, unafraid and saw the blood spray out the side of Joe’s face before he even registered the sound of a bullet from the forest behind them. Another bullet echo’d through the woods and the man behind him dropped. Daryl reached down and grabbed a knife off the body then swung around and up knifing a third man through the chin as he stood. Merle appeared from behind one of the cars. He moved silently up to a fourth of the five men and put his prosthetic knife through the back of the man’s head before he even knew anyone was on him.

Then Daryl looked to Rick. The last man put a blade to Rick’s neck and the prick of the knife against his throat drew blood. “Nobody moves!” the last man standing shouted. Daryl and Merle nodded hello’s and both raised their hands in surrender.

“You alone now, shit-for-brains. You kill him, then we kill you. Or you let him go and we consider letting you go.” Merle said.

Suddenly the tense quiet between them was broken by a sound that stunned the stranger. A sound that would stun most people still alive in this world- the sound of a baby’s cry. The man looked over his shoulder, distracted as Daryl moved in close and fast, pulled the knife from the other man’s hand and used it to gut him from his belly button up through his chest. When the man fell, Daryl stomped on his head with a boot until there was nothing left but a pool of blood. He looked up at Rick then Merle. “Needed to let off some steam.”

Rick turned to the sound of his daughter as Carl and Judith stepped up onto the roadway. His face contorted into a cry and he walked to them, dropping to his knees and hugging them both. 

The sight of Rick hugging his children made Daryl’s heart melt. He knew Merle and Rick would make it. Knew he’d see them both again. “How did you guys plan that ambush?” Daryl asked, as Rick stood, Judith in his arms and a hand on Carl’s shoulder. 

“I didn’t plan shit,” Merle answered. “Saw dick-for-brains’ head get blown off and made my move.” Rick, Daryl and Merle all looked over to Carl. 

“I had the shot. I took it,” Carl said. Rick nodded and patted his shoulder. The days of trying to talk sense to mad men were over and Carl had learned that lesson quicker than Rick or Daryl had.

“Hey kid, help me try to find a car that we can become the new owners of. Bring your sister, I think she’s good luck,” Merle said, as he looked back at Daryl and winked. Carl smiled like he was reading Merle’s mind. 

“Good idea.” He took Judith back from Rick without a fight. As they walked away, Rick looked back to Daryl.

“You saved my children,” he said quietly. “I’ll never be able to repay that.”

“They’re my family, too. You know I’d die for them, Rick.” he looked over at his brother and Carl peering into car windows and smiled. “You got all the way here after days with Merle and didn’t kill him. _I’ll_ never be able to repay _that_.

Rick laughed and walked towards him, closing the space between them. The archer’s body warmed at just the sight of Rick being close, invading his space in that intimate way. Rick stopped not an arm’s length away, his eyes piercing into Daryl’s, telling him secrets, confessing things without words that Rick had only just found out himself. He put a hand on the back of Daryl’s neck and rested his forehead against the archer’s.

“I missed you,” Rick whispered, and the words were like waking up to the sound of birds, the feel of sun warm on your skin, the sound of rain after a drought. They fell into a hug that was incredibly natural, not awkward or forced. It was comfortable and desperately needed after the long days of worry. Rick was relief personified. He was the breath that Daryl had been holding since he watched his silhouette disappear from the back of the bus. Rick let his lips brush against Daryl’s cheek and the archer’s heart sped up. He let his hand rest on Rick’s upper arm.

“I missed you, too,” Daryl replied softly. He didn’t move a muscle, didn’t want to leave the comfort of the embrace. Rick’s hand warm on his neck and the other now resting on his hip. Rick tilted his head again, pressing his lips with more purpose to Daryl’s cheek, then moved them to the corner of the archer’s mouth and Daryl finally felt confident enough to move. He turned his head just slightly so his lips were the next thing Rick’s lips would find to land on. Daryl’s heart thudded against his chest, Rick’s hand burning like fire on the back of his neck.

“Rick,” Daryl said. It was pleading and permission. And Rick leaned in and pressed his soft, full mouth against Daryl’s. 

The archer parted his lips and tasted Rick on his tongue, breathed him in, pressed his body against the leader’s. “I’m in love with you,” Rick said, his forehead back against Daryl’s. 

“Yeah?” Daryl asked.

“Yeah. Merle said...did you really mean what you just sa-”

“I meant it. I love you too, Rick. Carl told me I did so it must be true.” 

Rick pulled back and looked at Daryl with a grin. “Did he?”

“Yeah. And he seems to be good at knowing when to take a shot at things.”

They looked at each other, grinning like idiots, thoughts swirling with next steps and new sensations.

“Hey, you done the first kiss scene here?” Merle shouted. “Cause this car’s got keys in it and a full tank of gas. Note here from Glenn, Maggie, Sasha, Bob and Beth. They’re heading to a place called Terminus. Said to follow the tracks.”

Rick walked back to the dead man that had taken his Colt and retrieved it as Daryl collected weapons from the other bodies. 

“Let’s go find the rest of our family,” Rick said as he reached for Daryl’s hand.

“Oh god, gross. Are you guys gonna be, like, glomming all over each other now?” Carl asked.

“You told us to, idiot,” Daryl retorted. 

“Not in front of me, man. Have some decency,” Carl covered Judy’s eyes as he laughed. 

Then the five of them climbed into an abandoned Jeep Wrangler, the same kind that Carl had blown up back at the bus, and they headed towards the rest of their family, together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next- the epilogue!


	12. This is the Way the World Ends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta'd from start to finish by the wonderful Stylepoints. Now I bring you the epilogue!

Terminus was not as advertised. After hours in the car and several days and nights following the tracks, they had arrived just in time to see Carol taking a shot into the center of activity, causing one hell of an explosion. They lost Bob during the rescue so while the reunion was filled with hugs and smiles from Maggie, Glenn, Beth, Sasha and Carol, it was bittersweet. Daryl had come up with the idea that night to head back the way they’d come. There was a big old farmhouse in a pecan grove. It was well-hidden, well-stocked and had enough room for the small group. It could be their new home.

The journey back to the pecan grove was tiring. Rick was still devastated at the destruction of the prison and held the responsibility for the loss of it and of Hershel squarely on his shoulders. Daryl tried his best to comfort him as they walked, dragging behind everyone else. He manage to get Rick to smile a bit. He'd always been able to do that.

When they arrived, there was optimism for the first time in a long time. A sense of a future. Everyone ran through the house claiming rooms, Rick and Daryl getting one all to themselves.

“Almost seems too good to be true,” Rick said as he looked around the room, still a bit skeptical. They hadn’t had time in their trip back from Terminus to explore their new relationship any further than kissing and some minor groping. They’d been back in their old tradition of sleeping as a group so there wasn’t any privacy, but with a house… and a room, Rick had schoolboy nerves about what would happen between them next.

“So… privacy,” Rick said with a smile.

“Yeah.” Daryl muttered. They stood there awkwardly for a moment, then came together in a gentle hug followed by soft kisses and roaming hands. 

“You feel good,” Rick whispered as he backed up to the bed, pulling Daryl along with him. “Can I feel you some more?”

Daryl chuckled. “Don't you know by now, Rick? I’ll do whatever you ask. Always have.”

Rick sat on the bed and looked up at Daryl, eyes blown wide with thoughts of what was to come.

“I know you always follow my lead, but every step of the way I look to you first. Always have.”

He put a hand on Daryl's belt and looked up at him for permission. The archer nodded his head in approval. Rick unbuckled and unzipped his new lover and tugged the jeans til they slid off and crumpled to the floor.

“Well, that was a sudden reveal,” Rick said flirtatiously when he realized Daryl wasn't wearing underwear. 

“You seen it before. I know you peeked over in the showers back at the prison.”

“Did not,” Rick insisted as he scooted back on the bed and Daryl knelt down and reached to pull Rick's shirt over his head.

“Wasted opportunity then. I did. I know exactly what you got in there,” Daryl grinned, starting to unbuckle and unzip the leader.

“You dirty perve! You were checking out my junk!?”

Daryl tried not to smile but it was hard not to with Rick. He always wanted to smile when he was near this man. 

“Whatever... you don't shower discretely. You have your hands in your hair shampooing and turned around so your stuff is hanging out all over the room instead of just in your corner…”

“No I don’t!” Rick said, as he remembered doing exactly that. Daryl peeled Rick's jeans off, giggling. 

“So… Umm… I don't know how to do any of this naked lover stuff,” Daryl said with a nervous laugh.

“Well, I think the first step is being naked.” Rick reached for Daryl's shirt, the only stitch of clothes left on either of them, but the archer pulled back. 

“Maybe we can leave this on,” Daryl said shyly and Rick knew why. His giggles faded and his heart swelled. He loved this man so much it hurt. 

“Yeah. We can leave it on.” He spread his fingers into Daryl’s shaggy hair and pulled him down for a kiss, the archer covering Rick’s body with his own. The feeling of skin against skin was delicious even though it was only from the waist down. As they explored one another’s mouths with soft licks and tender bites, Daryl started rutting slightly against Rick, their hard lengths rubbing beside each other. 

Daryl had never felt anything like it. None of the brief girlfriends he’d had ever made his body and his heart both throb in a delirious tempo that made sounds fall from his kiss-swollen lips that he didn’t even know he could make. Rick’s skin was so warm against his own and the shirt was just in the fucking way. As tongues wrestled and caressed, Daryl had only one thought. Rick. Nothing else in the entire world mattered and he broke the kiss and pulled away so he could yank his shirt off and throw it to the floor. Nothing mattered. Just Rick. Rick against him, loving him, touching him, whimpering against Daryl’s shoulder, his hot mouth burning kisses into Daryl’s exposed chest. Suddenly every tingle along the surface of his skin made him arch his back until every feeling in him was shooting out warm between them. Rick gave a final cry and Daryl could feel him pulsing out as well.

He kept his forehead against Rick’s as they tried to steady their breathing. 

“I’m not sure that was the right way,” Daryl laughed. 

“I don’t think there’s a wrong way. Lot’s of ways probably. We probably need to do a lot of research on this… this, what did you call it? Naked lover stuff?” Rick ran a hand down Daryl’s chest as the archer sat back up. “You’re beautiful naked, by the way,” Rick added. He knew how hard it was for Daryl to be so exposed and vulnerable. Rick had seen the scars before and there was nothing this man needed to be ashamed of or worried about with him. Rick loved him completely.

“You’re a dork,” Daryl responded and Rick reached behind him and flung a pillow at Daryl as the man stood and turned to find something to clean off with, no longer worried about his lover seeing the scars on his back.

“I almost forgot how to feel happy,” Rick said, as Daryl walked back over with an old T-shirt and started wiping Rick’s stomach off. Rick just watched as Daryl took care of him in a way that no one ever had. Cleaned him off. Pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead and brushed sweaty curls out of his face. He was caring, affectionate, tender. Rick was always the one who was supposed to be tender to a lover. He never thought about what it would like to be the recipient of that treatment. And it felt amazing, especially at the fingertips of Daryl Dixon. Rough, gruff, sometimes angry, mostly quiet, completely loyal friend. Not just friend. Other half. 

And all those years back in the old world people would use that phrase- “How’s your ‘other half’?” and it was just a meaningless turn of phrase. But this… what he had with Daryl? Daryl _was_ his other half. He was fairly certain if Daryl was taken from this Earth, Rick would just simply cease to exist as well. Because one of them was nothing without the other. They made one whole. And they were nothing but broken splinters without one another. Rick vowed that they would never go in opposite directions again. It was just simply not an option. 

Rick took the t-shirt and started to clean off Daryl’s stomach and chest as the archer laid down and let Rick take gentle care of him. They held eye contact, words spinning in each of their heads. No need to say them. They could both read meaning in one another’s eyes.

“Wish I could have kept the prison for us. Things were so good there. Our family. It was home. Wish I could have saved it for you, for us.”

“Rick,” Daryl said thoughtfully, “This might be the last place we stay. And it might just be the next place we stay, but either way, we’re all together.” He sat up and got under the covers as he spoke. “The prison? It was just a place. I’m home right now. I was home at each place we stopped to sleep on the way here. I was home in every shack and storefront we spent the night in during that long winter before the prison. I was at home, the moment you looked at me at the quarry, saw my hurt and offered to go get Merle with me. Never had a home. But I think I know what one is. And it ain’t made of wood or concrete. It ain’t a prison or a farm or a pecan grove. It’s you.”

Rick climbed under the covers too, and he wrapped an arm around Daryl, letting his head rest on the hunter’s chest. “Thank God I finally found you,” Rick whispered. “I've been looking for you so much longer than you even realize.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So - an update on things to come:
> 
> Most likely I'll get out a finally chapter soon on One Grumpy Redneck.
> 
> My Vietnam long fic is still way off in the distance but it has not been forgotten!
> 
> Next up in the long fic department is something I've only just started working on that was inspired by the opening scenes from 1984's movie Red Dawn. You don't have to know it to enjoy the fic but it was a damn good movie. (The attack won't be Russians for those of you who know it- it will be our govt trying to contain the virus)
> 
> It starts on a normal day in high school and quickly morphs to the beginning of the ZA. Here's a quick sneak preview:
> 
> _And when Daryl looked over to her he stood, jaw dropped at the sight out the window- dozens… no hundreds of men floating to the ground from parachutes. All seemed to be wearing some kind of protective suits._
> 
> _The entire class went to the window, everyone talking at once._
> 
> _“Stay calm, class. I'll go see what's happening,” Mr. Douglas said as he rubbed a hand over his bald head. Daryl watched as three of the men landed in the same general area and each one reached around to arm themselves with some kind of automatic weapon they’d had strapped over their shoulder._
> 
> _“Hey, Douglas,” Daryl yelled. “These guys are packin’. Don't think going out there is a good idea.”_
> 
> _“Just stay in here, everyone. I’m sure it’s just some kind of drill gone wrong.”_
> 
> _Daryl looked back out the window. As soon as each man hit the ground, he unhooked his parachute and had his weapon ready. Some headed for the shopping Plaza across the field, some towards the hospital over the hill and some headed right towards the school._
> 
> _“Al Queda?” Rick asked. And Daryl was startled by the sound of his voice so close. He hadn’t even realized the entire room had lined up along with him at the windows to watch._
> 
> _Daryl looked back out the window and squinted. “Nah. Ain't ethnic. Most of ‘em look white. Plus those suits- like something from the CDC. Maybe this has to do with that cannibal sickness.”_
> 
> _Daryl let his mind wrap around the implication of the sight in front of him. If they were trying to contain it…_
> 
> _Mr. Douglas appeared outside the window with his arms raised. “Think you fellas might be off course,” he said. Daryl could hear him through the opened windows._
> 
> _One of the men in the suits raised his weapon and fired, hitting Mr. Douglas directly in the head. Daryl saw the blood spray as he grabbed Rick by the shirt and got them both to the ground as bullets sprayed into the classroom. Everyone screamed and glass shattered all around them._
> 
> Just a snippet! I'm three chapters in and hope to complete it in a month or so!
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed Rendezvous. Thank you so much for all the wonderful comments!

**Author's Note:**

> This will be a short chaptered fic that will be posted daily over the next 12 days. Hope everyone will enjoy!


End file.
